Columbia Rocks!

It has been almost 2 months since I chose a mascot of the day, and while I enjoyed the busy feeling of tax season, I am glad to be back, looking at the happiness of characters.

According to some of my recent dude contacts (aka Tinder creeps) my love of mascots and stuffed animals makes me ‘creepy’ and ‘weird.’  Yes, I am totally weird, but it’s not like these things kill.  They are there solely for happiness.  Like, there is so much stress and difficulty and bad in the world, so why not just add a little joy sometimes?  But, my logic is not of a typical ideal, and therefore, I shall be single for the near future.
But singledom is not nearly as awful as the first 45 minutes of a romcom portrays.  In fact, it is kind of amazing.  Singledom means that I can go to baseball games with my friends anytime I want.  And now that Columbia has an A team, the Fireflies, it is pretty much my favourite hangout spot.  Baseball, booze, friends, and of course this cutie:
This is Mason, and I guess he is a chubby firefly.  He lives at the stadium aka the Mason Jar, and is just freaking awesome.  Mason might just be the best part of this Met’s minor league team, since the 500 record is not likely to last. Unless most of the games are at night, because the logo glows, and that might just be enough to throw some pitchers off.
Columbia’s pretty awesome, huh?  Oh, still no?  Okay, well, last Thursday, 10,000 people thought differently, so booyah.  So let’s glow fireflies! WOOO!
Bonus: I got a photo with the cutie!  How awesome is that?!?!?!

One Big Happy

Just 1 hour north of Boston, Massachusetts, is a surprisingly little-known city named Lowell.  I say ‘surprisingly’ not because of it’s size, at only 100k people, but because they are home to some pretty awesome stuff.

The very first desegregated high school was founded here in 1831.  It caused quite a hubbub, too , because how dare you let all races and genders learn together?  Madness.  Well known novelist/poet/druggy/criminal John Kerouac was born and spent his childhood here.  1930’s pinup actress Bette Davis was born here, too.
Also from here is the Lowell Spinners, the A team for the Boston Red Sox.  The Spinners have some pretty awesome graduates, such as Jackie Bradley Jr. (USC!!), Jacoby Ellisbury, Jonathan Papelbon, and Kevin Youkilis.  They also have this pretty awesome mascot:
Canaligator, named after the 6 miles of canals in the area, was born with the team, and loves to cheer at every game, as well as visit schools and hospitals in the area.  At 6’4, 313 lbs, he is built more for the football offensive line than any position in baseball, and is stated to ‘bat poorly, throw even worse.’
In 1999, Canaligator met Allie-Gator, who also sucks at batting, and throws like a girl.  These two found themselves in blissful love, and decided to get married in 2006.  Wow, he took a long time to propose.
Also in 2006, on opening day, these two had a child, named Millie-Gator, named after all the mills in the area.  She loves family trips to the Everglades, goes to Gator school, and unlike her parents, can throw a pretty sweet curveball.
Man, that’s just a happy family right there.
Also… inflatabuddy!

Myrtle- Rated G

When people not from the southeast United States think of South Carolina, what first pops into their head?  Myrtle Beach.  And thanks to the Girls Gone Wild franchise, Myrtle Beach forever has the connotation of wild spring break partiers clad in less than a normal bikini while drinking too much alcohol and overall having lower inhibitions and poor decision making skills.  Thanks for that, Joe Francis.

But let’s not forget that Myrtle also has other wonderful things- like appropriately clothed beaches, mini golf for days, and pelicans!   The Eastern Brown Pelican is the only non-white pelican species alive today, and exists on the United States coastline from Virginia to Florida, often in sanctuaries due to their constant state of being only marginally off the endangered species list.
The Pelican is also the mascot of the A-League baseball team for Myrtle Beach.
Splash the Pelican became a mascot when the team moved from Durham to his home of the Grand Strand in Myrtle.  He has been loved ever since, even though he often flies over the seats and steals fans’ food when they’re not looking.  Splash loves the game, but often gets carried away, and has actually been ejected twice.  He also has a bff, born in 2008, named Rally Shark.  Rally Shark is only around for late innings when they need a run, and spends the rest of his time practicing his song-and-dance routines in case “Jaws” ever decides to go Broadway.
The next time you think of going to South Carolina for spring break, maybe consider Splash as a day of entertainment instead of the normal spring break antics.  Or just choose one of the better cities in South Carolina.

Sandy’s Bar Mitzvah

When looking out into the field and seeing a mascot, you just see this cute happy character who is there to pump up the fans for a few hours.  But behind the scenes, when the game is over, mascots have lives, too.  Which means that, yes, different mascots have different backgrounds, beliefs, and religions.

This is Sandy the Seagull, and just like all other mascots, he’s got the adorable face and never ending smiles to play the part.  Sandy represents all that is wonderful for the A baseball team Brooklyn Cyclones, who are in the New York Mets System.  Since 2000, this delightful team has been housed in happy Coney Island, along with 3 other professional sports teams that are not well known- what is ultimate disc league?  Anyone?
Pee-Wee the seagull, the Brooklyn Cyclones mascot photographed in Coney Island at MCU Park.
But when Sandy is not out there in the stands, he still has stuff going on.  Pictured above is his only child, PeeWee, who is also an awesome Cyclone’s mascot.  PeeWee was adopted in 2003 and named after a Brooklyn Dodger’s shortstop PeeWee Reese.  Why would a three year old adopt a child?  There is not much of an  explanation for it.  But what there is a clear explanation for is Sandy’s religious beliefs.
Sandy was named after Sandy Koufax, a member of the Brooklyn Dodgers, and the youngest player ever inducted into the hall of fame.  He received a lot of public attention during the 1965 World Series, where he was scheduled to pitch game 1, but refused because it was on the same day as the Jewish holiday Yom Kippur, which he chose to observe.  He ended up pitching games 2,5, and 7, bringing the team to victory, and becoming the MVP.  So despite all the controversy, it doesn’t seem his decision caused too much trouble.
To show how devoted the team is to Koufax and his beliefs, in 2013 Sandy the mascot had his 13th birthday, and a Bar Mitzvah was thrown in his honour.
That uniform is awesome!!! And the Rabbi is so happy!  I love this pic!

Johnny Appleseed

Have you ever heard of a guy named John Chapman?  He was a conservationist and missionary who believed that everyone could live off of the land.  His most recognized practice is his apple farms, fencing them in so they could go to the people of the town, and not be eaten by animals.  You may know him as Johnny Appleseed, who is the hero of this Fort Wayne team.

The A team for the San Diego Padres are known as the TinCaps, with the mascot Johnny Tincap.
Johnny got the job by winning an apple-eating contest, and hasn’t looked back since.  People often ask how he has such perfect teeth, and according to him, it’s that “an apple a day keeps the dentist away.”
Sure, he’s cute, and his teeth are nice, but look closel, at the logo on his shirt.
How cute is that?!?!?!  An angry apple with a pan on his head, and the apple stem is intense enough to get through the metal?!?!  Ahh!
Yeah, that’s a sweet logo.

Raw Fish Race

So your team is in Vancouver, Canada, and you named yourself the Canadians.  Wow, how lame.  Oh, and your mascot is a bear… that’s never been done before.  Don’t get me wrong, I am a huge lover of bears, but as mascots go, it’s just not very creative.

This is Bob Brown Bear, the mascot for this Toronto Blue Jay’s A-affiliate team.  He’s cute and fun and loveable, but not very unique.  Bob believes that rubbing his belly bring good luck to the team, and is often seen doing so at the games.  While he is the official mascot, he definitely gets outshined by another group of much more hilarious buddies.
The sushi racers!!
On the left, we have Ms. BC Roll, and in the middle, Mr. Kappa Maki, and their goal is to outrun the guy on the right, Chef Wasabi.  They have been pretty successful at doing such- Chef Wasabi has a 1-37 record.  Ouch.
Unlike most food mascot races in baseball, this one is not to promote a brand, or advertise a product- it’s just 4th inning fun.
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Look at Kappa Maki go!  How does Wasabi keep that hat on his head?  Looks like it should fall off.  Plus, why do they even hate Wasabi?  Is it because he sometimes overpowers their flavour?  There are a lot of unanswered questions, but either way, this is one of the better food race teams.

The Other Yankees

The hatred for the Yankees is deep.  Anyone who is not a Yankees lover is a white with blue pinstripes hater.  But should they be?  Because the Staten Island Yankees are kind of awesome.  Sure, they’ve won the A-league 6 of the 16 years they’ve existed, but their mascot is a cow.  And cows are great.

Scooter, the Holy Cow, is named after announcer Phil Rizzuto, who often used the phrase during his exciting game commentary.


Scooter is 9 feet tall, throws right, bats both, and won’t admit his weight.  His favourite food is veggie burgers, though, so how fat can he be?  Also, aren’t cows female, and bulls are male?  Something is not adding up here.

No matter what his gender, he’s kind of fun.  Run!!! You can catch him!


Wine and Nuts

When thinking of a city in California, what first comes to mind?  LA?  San Francisco?  Sacramento?  What about Modesto?!?

This is an impressive city.  With crime across all categories being 2-3x the national average per capita, I’m sure tourism is not their highest moneymaker.  But they do have a lot to offer.
Do you like wine?  They are home of the largest winery in the world – E+J Gallo Winery, that you’ve probably drank before (does Barefoot Wine sound familiar?  Turning Leaf? How about Andre sparkling wine?)
Do you like the movie “American Graffiti”?  Modesto is where the movie was filmed.  I guess the crime in the background fit right in with the movie.
Do you like Star Wars?  George Lucas was born in Modesto.
And finally, do you like the Rockies?  I know one of you does!  The Rockies have their A farm team here.  They’re the Modesto nuts!
Named for the large nut-producing industry in the area, Al the Almond and Wally the Walnut fit right in!
These two have become so popular, that they’ve decided to add a third nut to their crew.  This kinda scary looking pistachio is yet to be named- the kid fans get to vote to decide.
So for now, it is just the two of them, being awesome baseball players.

MMM… Beer

If you’re drinking, but you’re classy, and want to be perceived as wealthier, you choose wine, right?  Not anymore.  The rise of the craft brew has made it fancy to drink beer now, too.  Your microbrews, nanobrews, ipa’s, and whatever else snooty beer is out there.  What city produces the most craft beer in the world?

Portland, Oregon, which has 58 breweries within city limits.  But the beer undertone does not end at the city border, because in the suburb of Hillsboro is an awesomely named A baseball team.
The Hillsboro Hops are the bottom rung for the Arizona Diamondbacks, but have Barley, this cute, green, leafy guy.  It’s nice they named him something socially acceptable for kids, so parents could lie about what he is until age 21.

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Like many mascots, he suffers from slight “evil eye syndrome.”  But I believe he has accepted it, because in some logos, he wears sunglasses.

15,000 Ways to Die

Minnesota, you are a scary place.  Wanna know why?  Because you have like 15,000 lakes.  Sure, there’s swimmer’s itch and drowning and stuff, but did you know there are also lake monsters?

Affiliated with the Oakland A’s. these guys might just sneak up on you, wrap themselves around your legs, and kill you.  That’s not a frightening thought.
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And why Vermont?  Do they even have a lot of lakes there?  I think they should be the ‘bed and breakfast monsters.’  Makes more sense to me.
I kind of like the dressed up mascot, though.
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And their logo… get it?  The waves are a ‘V’?  For Vermont?!?! Clever stuffs.
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