Violent Bowling Pin

Tomorrow, for many of us, is the start of a wonderful thing called the college football season.  While it is in theory just ‘young adults playing a sport for a reduced tuition,’ it is in reality a BIG DEAL.  NCAA football has more diehard fans than anyone else, and for that reason, today’s mascot goes in the exact opposite direction.  Otherwise there may be some angry all-caps emails in my inbox.  Plus, there are other wonderful sports to love.

Lest we forget, D-League Basketball is only 6 short weeks away.  To mildly celebrate this forgotten sport, let’s look back at a lovely defunct team, the Albuquerque Thunderbirds.
Their first year, in 2005, they were the D-League champions!  But 2006-2011 showed much shittier results, never finishing over 500 again.  Yet, even with such horrid results, they still got bought out in 2011, by the Cleveland Cavaliers, and now are the Charge of Canton, Ohio.
Named Trey, it looks like this guy has a little sass.  (oh no you didn’t!)
Trey may not have the popularity, or the whole life story, but you question his awesomeness, he will hurt you!
Getting pelted with a giant bowling pin cannot feel great.

Younger Siblings

Today’s mascot stirs up a few different emotions, so tread lightly ahead.

First of all, I want to talk about the difficulties of being the younger sibling.  Oh, you’re the spoiled one, oh you’re the favourite.  Yeah right.  Seth Curry understands what I mean.  A great basketball player from Charlotte, NC, he went on to be a starter at the all-star basketball school Duke University before being waived in the draft by the Golden State Warriors.  Since then, he has gone between D-League and 10-day NBA contracts.  His father played in the NBA, and his older brother currently plays for Golden State.  So, sure, Seth is good, but he’s always the Curry who is not as good as his bro, who didn’t get a contract with Golden State, who can almost make it but is not quite there.  He’s in the shadow.  Sucks, man.

Second, and completely unrelated, you cannot call yourself Clutch.  As I’ve gone over in a few posts now, there is only ONE Clutch, and he won last night, thank you very much.  But, this lil guy, from the Erie BayHawks, who Seth Curry currently plays for, also thinks he is Clutch.
Affiliated with the Orlando Magic, this hawk is supposed to reference the naval background of the area, since hawks were used in navy expeditions to send messages quickly.  The red, gold, and black uniforms were chosen to match the uniforms worn by the Erie-based Navy in the War of 1812.
By the way, this guy is jacked:
And seriously, when is the inflata-mascot not winning at life?

King of Reno

I am not good with change, as most of you are well aware. (This summarizes my life:   And while I get made fun of for it, quite often, actually, I have to say, it is pretty logical.  If something is working, why change it?  Which is why today is so sad, because two of my partners in crime here at DMG have now moved on to TAX.  So to try to brighten this day, we need a very smiley mascot!

Bruno is a smiley desert bighorn from Reno, the D-league team for the Sacramento Kings.  He looks all happy and sweet, but I still wouldn’t mess with him.  The male bighorn can weigh up to 500 lbs, with the horns being 30 lbs of that.  That charging at you at 40 mph would hurt, bad.


 Tough yet full of joy, I like this guy.
Yeah, he occasionally wears pink, but if you give him crap on it, well, probably not going to end well for you.
And the real ones are kind of cute, too, but they have a temper that will be lost a little faster.  They’re not as kind to the kids, maybe have fewer good days, more head-to-head battles.

Snakes on a Plane

In a past post, and anytime you’ve talked to me, I’ve expressed my absolute love for Clutch, of the Houston Rockets.  Well, they have a D-league team, and today we will take a look at them.

The Rio Grande Valley Vipers are one of the most successful D-league teams today.  Since starting in 2007, they have won two championships.  Also, they are kind of the Cowboys of the D league, having the largest jumbotron, and recently getting a new, $68 million stadium.  Did you know that half of that was funded by local area sales tax?  That seems mighty controversial.
And personally, I’m surprised the mascots are not viewed as more controversial as well.  Fang is a scary snake mascot who poisons the competition.  His favourite movie is Snakes on a Plane, and his favourite book is the same as mine in childhood, disturbingly enough, Green Eggs and Ham.
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So when Fang is about to bite you, Venom the superhero, his partner in crime, will save you.  His favourite song is by Madonna, which really seems inappropriate for kids.


Together, these two team up to fight the competition, but hopefully not kill the audience in the process.  Though the logo suggests otherwise.

You Never Caught Wile E.

All of this time I have been writing about numerous types of sports teams, and I never thought of this.  And nobody ever suggested that I tap into this level of this league.  People, the D League!

The NBA Development League started in 2001 as the kickoff to minor league basketball.  This way,  they could bank off of both the 1 and done system currently in place for college, and the baseball-type farm system.
To kick off this event, I start with a very cute, but very defunct, mascot.  The Tulsa 66ers, named after Route 66, which cuts straight throughTulsa, were the minion team for the Oklahoma City Thunder.  He’s accurately chosen, as Routie the Roadrunner.


Look at that vertical! (Disclaimer: There may be a springboard involved here.  Mascot of the Day does not condone any possibly unsafe behaviour.)
Unfortunately, in 2014 the owner of the 66ers decided it would be better if the team was based out of OKC with the main team, and thus ended the 10 year reign of Routie.
So let’s just remember all of the good times with him….
He was great with kids:
And parents
And even enemy mascots:
We’ll never forget you, Routie!