Dad’s Day

Yesterday was Father’s Day, in case no form of social media, calendar, or commercials notified you.  If you forgot, I think you have some apologizing to do.  Unless you happen to be a creature that reproduces asexually, then I apologize.  So mostly everything has a father,  including mascots.

Many mascots decided it was time for some father-son bonding, like Orbit, of the Albuquerque Isotopes, who thought it would be a good day to go fishing.
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I’m not sure how much they could have possibly caught, but we all know it is about the quality time together, not the fishing itself.  Orbit, of the AAA team for the Rockies, is a good son.  He’s always happy and trying to bring out the best of any game.
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He’s also a pretty impressive stuntman.
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It is unknown what creature he is.  The mix is typically described as part bear, alien, Big Bird, dog, and Elmo.  That’s quite the mix.  But he remains loveable all the same.
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Knight Breathing Fire

Today’s mascot of the day sits near and dear to the hearts of many friends.  Well, probably not the mascot, but the team itself.

The Charlotte Knights are AAA for the Chicago White Sox, and from 1989-2011 played in Fort Mill, SC, until moving into downtown Charlotte.  As if their leaving the state was not sad enough, they also changed from the Hornet’s teal and purple colour scheme, to the white, black, and silver of the White Sox.  Booo!!!
You’d think as the Knights, they’d have a knight.  But baseball mascots never make sense, so instead they have Homer the Dragon.
The Charlotte Knights baseball mascot during the 2008 season.

The Charlotte Knights baseball mascot during the 2008 season.

This cutie was born in 1989 as the guard of Knight’s Castle!
You’d think that after working for them for 25 years, they’d get him clothes that fit.  Or maybe I’m not up with the mascot fashion these days– it’s about the snug, button busting fit.

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Either way, I think you are awesome, and promise to attend a game this year!

Taco Bell Nightmares

When you think about animals you are afraid of, which do you choose?  Bears?  Wolves?  The Loch Ness monster?  Not for me.  I think about little dogs.  They always nip at my ankles, and have those barking squeals that just piss me off.

So just looking at this mascot pains me.  Look, it’s all little and angry.  I will have to wear those awkward mid-calf-length socks just so he leaves me alone.
Last year, the AAA team for the Padres moved from Tucson, AZ, to El Paso, TX.  With that move, they became the Chihuahuas!  The logo is cute but angry, whcih I find awesome.
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But the actual mascot is creepy.  Is he trippin?  What is up with his eyes?
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Shark Tank Field

Often times, mascots are tough animals that represent the true intensity of the team.  The popular names like tigers, bulls, lions, and bears, are some of the toughest species in the animal kingdom.  But what about the underwater animal kingdom?  Why are they often excluded from becoming mascots?

The Wilmington Sharks, of Coastal Plain League baseball, made Sharky- cute and kind to the kid fans, mean and scary to the competition.  They have really integrated him into the entire baseball game- the field is even called the ‘Shark Tank’!

But mostly, I find Sharky impressive because he is a triple threat- the dressed up mascot, logo, and drawn mascot are all superb.  Take that, ‘triple threat’ JLo!

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By the way, this was my favourite episode of Baywatch ever.  Pam Anderson and Yasmine Bleeth have nothing on Sharky.

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AAAAND they have a sweet bounce house!!!
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Mr. Burns

Let’s get a few facts straight:

A. A zephyr is a train.  That’s the easy part.
B. A nutria is a river rat… and has nothing to do with nutrition (my brain is weird).  A little tougher.
C. I can think of nothing similar between A and B. I mean, what?  Toughest.
But here are Boudreaux and Clotile Nutria, from Marlins AAA baseball team, the New Orleans Zephyrs.

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 The Zephyr name started in 1985, when the team was in Denver- evidently the city has a famous passenger train?!  When the team moved to NoLa, they kept the name, saying it now alluded to the Zephyr roller coaster at the Pontchartrain Beach amusement park.
Also, if you ever wondered how strict the deep south is about tradition, here’s proof that they are following the rules- even the mascots are not shacking up like some of us terrible, modern, northern folk. The lovely couple had a wedding at one game.
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My favourite part of this entire team, though, and the reason why I decided to pick these odd creatures as mascot of the day, is because Mr. Burns from the Simpsons played for them. He was probably their superstar hitter, too, with those scrawny arms.  A few grand slams in his day.
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Team Until Mealtime

Today’s mascot is actually a team of mascots that don’t make sense.  You’d think that if you had more than one mascot, they’d be a team who works together.  But not this one.  The AAA Richmond team feeds into the San Francisco Giants MLB team, and is known as the Flying Squirrels.  So naturally, there is Nutzy, the flying squirrel.  He’s cool, happy, got a nice eight pack.  The usual.

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But the other half of the team is Zinger, said to be Nutzy’s sidekick.  I mean, I was not a biology major, but it seems like this could become a problem, around mealtime perhaps.
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And look at that ridiculous grin.  He’s completely oblivious to what will happen next.
Maybe he isn’t booksmart, and this is just natural selection at work.
Or maybe he has a bodyguard, because they seem alright together, despite Nutzy’s evil grin.
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