Golden Hurricane (seriously)

Yes, I am aware that mascots have not happened in a very long time.  But I need to write one right now, or I will go crazy.  The project I am working on has thousands of problems, and I cannot find what causes any of them.
None. Zero.  Does that sound bad? Because it is.

But, it is not as bad as a golden hurricane.  What is a golden hurricane, anyway?  Am I the only one picturing urine going every which way?  That, frankly, does not sound pleasant, so I can see how it may deter the competition.  Even if it is supposedly sterile, it’s still just, eww. But, leave it to Oklahoma to use pee as a weapon.
The University of Tulsa does not see it that way at all, though.  Captain Cane has a few version, and only one of them really relates at all to a deadly storm.
I have mad respect for the old version.  He is what he says he is.  Sure he is a little doofy looking, but this is a golden hurricane. and that’s awesome!
But then they got rid of him for something that there is no logical reasoning behind.  He’s happy, he’s cute, he’s got a huge buttchin; I respect all of those things.  But, how is he at all related to a golden hurricane?
And bring it to today.  The one thing they had going for this guy was cuteness.  But now… nothing.  Nothing.  Bad costume.  Lumpy faux-muscles, scary face.
So there ya have it.  The University of Tulsa.