I’ve been planning on this being the Mascot of the Day for a week now, but as you’ve seen, it hasn’t been happening. No, I wasn’t on some sweet vacation- I’ve just been so busy that there has been no time.
Biology- that class where you cram into your short-term memory random animal facts, but the only thing you really remember is ‘kings play cards on fuzzy green stools.” But let’s go back to it, because evidently I suck at it so much, that I thought a ‘saber-toothed tiger’ was a thing.
Reading an article about some of the oddest mascots of Japan- because that’s what I do with my free time at work; I decided it is time I move to said nation. Or at least visit, for gosh sake. The opening paragraph went as follows:
Thus far in the mascot chronicles, you’ve learned of 3 Chicago-based teams: Sky, White Sox, Cubs. But how dare slack on the most important one of the ’90s kids- the Chicago Bulls. It doesn’t matter where you’re from, what sports you like, what you think of the individual athletes- you watched the Bulls.
Remember spring break? A scheduled week where flights, hotels, and car rental prices would be through the roof thanks to schools having off. Where did you go? Were you the uncool kid who just sat at home watching cartoons, or were you the really cool kid who went to a different country?
Hey adults, yeah you, why must you always go dirty with things? Why can’t things just be what they are? Why are we all Freudian worshippers, where every single action we make and thing we say in some way relates to sex? Boomer, of the NHL team the Columbus Blue Jackets, rocked. He was freaking awesome.
Today I had a surprising shock come to me… it was the end of an era. Nick, the guy who basically taught me everything I know at my job, is suddenly now the boss of another team. And I fully congratulate him, but at the same time, I’m like, lost. I know what to do, but I’ve always been doing it under his wing, and now suddenly, I have to fly on my own.
But the one good thing about this whole change is that I no longer have to see his Clemson-themed desktop background every time I turn around. The Clemson Tigers are his favourite team and his alma mater (and somehow mine), and boy is The Tiger uncreative. No seriously, they named their mascot The Tiger.
They play tail tug-o-war!