Lazy and Angry

Wow is today a lazy Friday.  I’m not even pretending I have energy, because the lack of sleep and desire to eat junk food has derailed any sense of healthiness I ever had.

And ya know what is also unhealthy? Hatred.  It just uses the energy you have in your system for something completely unproductive and worthless.  So you’d think that with that logic, I wouldn’t have hatred for anything.  But man do I got hatred for this team.  Not even for a good reason.  It’s not like one of their players stabbed me or something.  I was just born into a family of Giants fans, so seeing the Cowboys is awful.  What makes it worse- they were called ‘America’s Team’ back in the ’90s.  Who the heck decided they would be the team of this country?  There is no one team, I mean, we all got our own love.
But there’s something lovable about the mascot.
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This is Rowdy, and I think he looks like Elmer Fudd from the Looney Toons.  Agree?
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But what really convinced me to do this post is this photo:
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Even Rowdy has bad days sometimes, though yes, I do still see the smile on his face.

Scary Sun

Patrick_Star+ images = ?????

If you were asked to explain why a team name matches the puzzle above, what would you say?

1. They really like Spongebob’s BFF?
2. They were founded by a dude with the same name as Spongebob’s BFF?
3. They have little invisible spikes that are annoying?
4. They want to see Spongebob’s BFF get hurt playing in a field?
All wrong!!!
Patrick Thistle is a Scottish Premier Football team that is named for the town from where they were founded, Patrick.  There is not really a an explanation for the Thistle portion, but I am happy that they included it in their logo!  Maybe they want to stab the competition in a minor, yet very annoying way.
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As traditional soccer teams often go, they did not get a mascot until 2011.  They went almost 140 years without the best portion of sports!  And I’m so happy they caught on, because their first mascot, Jaggy MacBee, for MacB Capital, was adorable!
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But as sponsors switch, so too must mascots.  And in June, 2015, Kingsford Capital took over, and unveiled Kingsley, this frightening sunlike creature.
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Designed by an award-winning artist, he’s, well, frightening.  The only popularity received by this mascot is endless busted-face Lisa Simpson jokes.  Poor Lisa.
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If this hasn’t made you rethink amphetamine abuse, I don’t know what will.  Just say no!

Happily Ever After

Last semester, one of my students, age 18, said “If you don’t find a spouse by the time you’re done with school, you’re gonna be single forever.”  I of course took this with a grain of salt, because it was her first year of college, and honestly most college freshman are not in the marriage mindset. But maybe I was wrong, and she is actually a freaking genius.

A few weeks ago, I went on a free dating site called Plenty Of Fish, and my gosh, it was a disaster.  It is booty calls from people who can barely form a coherent sentence.
Which brings me back to my student… maybe it is tough to find someone once you’re outside of the school setting, because honestly, where can you meet someone?  Where are you just put with a bunch of single people who happen to be around your age?
The truth is, my student was kind of right.  We all want to be like Mr. and Ms. Wuf, who met at NC State, and live happily ever after.  But it cannot always happen that way, because this couple is seriously one in a million.
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Since the 1940s, the school has used a live wolf as their mascot, showing how rough and tough their teams are.  However, upon getting their 3rd wolf in the 1960s, a biology professor realized that the wolf was actually a coyote!
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So they got a wolf costume to make sure everyone knew that the mascot was not a coyote.
In 1975, NC State got their first women’s athletic team, and naturally had to get a female wolf, properly naming her Ms. Wuf.  But it wasn’t until 1981 that the male wolf took the name Mr. Wuf.  You guys, they got married, and he took her last name!  How forward-thinking of him!
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In 2011, these two cuties renewed their vows to celebrate 30 years of blissfully happy marriage.
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So maybe we haven’t all gotten married and lived happily ever after, but at least we know it’s possible, and the proof is right near us, in Raleigh, North Carolina.

The Dolphin in LA

This past Saturday was the start of the Special Olympics, taking place in LA.  If you think this is not a big event, think again- 7,000 athletes from 177 countries are participating.  Often confused with the Paralympics, the Special Olympics is for athletes with neurological- and intellectual- based illnesses, so while they may also have physical impairments, these issues are paired with mental illnesses.

Now, to get a bit sappy, in two weeks comes the 12th anniversary of a seizure-free me, which has been one of the best gifts I’ve ever been given, and I wish that all of the athletes in the Special Olympics could be as blessed as I have been.
But no, these writings are not about sob stories, they are about mascots!!!
Unfortunately, there is no mascot- the event chose to focus on the Special Olympics logo, now in a colourful design.
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But you know who has been showing up a lot?  Tsunami the Dolphin, from CSU-Channel Islands.  He’s carrying the ring, isn’t that cute?!?!
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Though an hour away from LA, he’s been chillin with all the athletes, because that sounds like an awesome time.  What is that blue thing?  Is he carrying pompoms too?  That’s pretty sweet.
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California State University- Channel Islands, while a four-year comprehensive school, does not take part in any NCAA sports, but are hoping to soon have some D2 teams.  But that doesn’t stop them from having this sweet dolphin, who represents a story of the Chumash Indians.  But more so than that, he’s just adorable.  Look at that cute logo!
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And even their ‘classier,’ more official logo is kickass.
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Cheer hardkore for these athletes, Tsunami!  You’re an awesome fan!

Adults are Lame

Bonus time!!!  No, ladies, not that free gift you get when you spend $31.50 or more at the Clinique counter.  Even better, a bonus mascot!

I’m going to start off by saying that 8 year old me was not very cool, because seriously, how was I not freaking ecstatic about the summer olympics being in the United States?  What, did I think it was always here?! ? Like, ATL was the new Athens?
Also not cool, I didn’t know that there was a mascot for these games!!! Loved by children and hated by adults, Izzy was quite the controversial character.
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Atlanta chose to use an idea created by a local designer, who made this blue blob character with all the smiles and eyeballs anyone could possibly want.  Named WhatIzIt, Izzy for short, kids thought he was fun and hilarious, but adults compared him to ‘a sperm in sneakers.’  What the crap, adults?  You guys suck.  He even carried the torch!  He’s so cute!
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Also why kids are better than adults, the olympic marathon was marked by a blue line the same colour as him.  When asked why that was the case, kids stated ‘Izzy ran it before everyone else because he’s super fast.’ But adults said that it was from ‘Izzy’s ass being dragged out of town.’ Seriously, adults, you freaking suck.  Live a lil, won’t you?
Just to prove how much power kids truly have, these stuffed buddies were pretty freaking popular:
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And both Sega and Super Nintendo made games revolving around Izzy’s olympic adventure.  So there, kids and corporate agree, he rocked.  Don’t be a mascot party pooper!

Cute Aminals!

Yes, I’ve been MIA for a few days, taking care of the absolute awesomest, cutest, most troublesome baby ever!  She also has the best stuffed animals, which only made it that much better- look at this bunny!!!

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So today I tried to find a mascot that was equally as cute, but let’s face it… that’s not possible.  But the elephant I chose is pretty great anyway, and shouldn’t be compared to something so perfect.
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Stumpy was the mascot for the 2011 cricket world cup in South Asia.  Born in Sri Lanka, he is said to be 10 years old during the event, and chosen due to his fun, energetic, enthusiastic, and upbeat personality.
By the way, he’s got mad skills on the field:
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I guess he has delicate knees and shins.  Safety, children!
One of the coolest things about Stumpy is the statue they made and decorated to look as traditional and realistic as possible.
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Once again, cricket is way cooler than I even expected.  Good work, international sports!

Thin-Armed Warrior

A few weeks ago, I discovered NJCAA, which is a gold mine of new mascots for me to choose from.  So let’s continue that.

Being born and raised in Minnesota, I’d like to think that I know a lot about the colleges of the state.  But even I have never heard of this one, or even the town it’s in, which houses 4400 happy students in Willmar, MN.

Ridgewater College has 13 NJCAA sports, where fans go to cheer and get excited rooting for the Warrior!

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Guys, he’s freaking adorable.  His head is huge, and his arms are tiny. His stabs are probably not very powerful, but I would still steer clear, just in case.

While the Warriors are not that hardkore, and don’t have a real costumed  mascot, and even have an absolutely terrible logo, they try, and for that they deserve some credit.

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Dude, the town even started making a water tower to represent the awesomeness of Ridgwater!  It may be half-done, but so is every construction project here in Columbia.  It’s the thought that counts.

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Confusing College Admissions

Readers:  If you know anything about Kennesaw State University, please share.

First of all, let me admit that I know nothing about this school, originally thinking that it was in Tennessee, was small, and in the middle of nowhere.
The reality of Kennesaw State is that it is just 20 miles outside of ATL (aka Georgia) and has about 30k students.
But what I still don’t get is the acceptance rate.  Only 55% of applicants get in, yet the average SAT is pretty attainable, at only 1070, with the average GPA right around 3.2, and there are no essay requirements.  So what is it that weeds out about half of the applicants?  The school is non-religious, so that’s not a factor. What is it?
But the cool thing about Kennesaw is that none of it really matters, because they’ve got this awesome guy:
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Scrappy is an owl leading these teams to victory, whether in the Peach Belt in D2, or the Atlantic Sun D1 conference starting in 2009.
His awesomeness is pretty much all stored in his shoes.  BALLER!
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I would suggest not questioning him on anything, because even his forearms are jacked.  But if those aren’t scary enough…
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…Underneath those sweet shoes are these clawing nightmares.
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Going Nuts

Did any of you notice that there was no MOTD yesterday?  My coworkers did, because they didn’t hear extremely loud typing coming from a nearby cubicle.  Some of you have road rage, some have spousal rage (eek!), but I have keyboard rage.  And thanks to Prime Day, I also have mouse rage.  I want to see the deal- click mouse, click, CLICK (load faster!).  But it’s really not making sense at the moment, because unlike Black Friday, where there is a huge crowd at the door, making a mad rush at the beginning, now it’s a mad rush every 5 minutes when they release another set of random items.  But I’m sure millions are still on there, ready to buy whatever they can get their hands on.

Speaking of random but popular, let’s talk about Brutus, from Ohio State University.
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A buckeye is a slang name for a type of nut, more commonly known as a horse chestnut.  The mascot is supposed to be a student, wearing school colours, with a nut on his head.  That is just a horrible mascot.  But 65,000 students still sign up to become one, so I guess the proof is in the numbers.
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He’s got nice moves, but why would a nut sweat so much?  He’s got pit stains and stomach stains every time.
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As expected in reality, an animal of any sort can take down a nut.  Sorry Brutus.
But before I knock on this school too much, and have 65k people coming after me, I will say that the older versions of the mascot are awesome!!  He was all nut, no human.  That’s cool!
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And to top it off, Ohio State really doesn’t like Michigan, and as a Sparty lover, I also don’t like Michigan.  So I guess I’ll give OSU a few points.  Go Nuts!

Plantain, Not Banana

In 2013, The World Baseball Classic saw the underdog Dominican Republic rally against much stronger teams.  They beat Italy, US, and Puerto Rico, to become the champions.  And it’s all because of their lucky plantain.  Yeah, that’s right, they took a food incredibly seriously.

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Whoa, that’s a lot.  Pace yourself, or you might get constipated…
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While sitting in the bullpen, Fernando Rodney kept a plantain in his pocket, and the team saw a comeback against the Netherlands, winning 4-1.  The team decided that he needed to keep that same plantain in his pocket for every game because it was their good luck charm.  And so he did.  Man, that thing must have gotten kind of rotten.
The coach said it helped keep the players calm and having fun, instead of being extremely nervous from all of the pressure.
Personally, I think it might be because they made an actual hilarious banana mascot, who just made my Monday.  Yes, it is titled Mascot Fail, but it is in no way a fail.
Look at his moves!!! So great!