Solve the following:
This week, we’ve found that soccer, like all other sports, contains lies, deception, and bribery, once again proving the statement that ‘money talks.’ As capitalists here in the United States, we kind of live and die by this mindset- except for one key thing- the slight bit of compassion engrained in all of us. Maybe it’s a societal outlook and not a given concept of humanity, but honestly, the slave-like caste of Qatar for stadium building?! Completely awful.
Lebron James- love him or hate him, he’s pretty good at what he does. By ‘what he does’ I mean having a big ego. It’s not that I don’t think he’s a good player, but he just comes with a Cavaliers-can’t-be-the-champions curse. Last night he lead the Cavs to a non-entertaining romp over the Hawks, easily finishing their 4-0 conference title series. But will the domination continue, or will the curse endure? We’ll just have to wait and see. But for now, we’ll take a look back at the team who jerseyed-up, showed-up, and played, only to lose each time.
Mascot loving ladies, today you must reminisce into your distant, or not so distant past, to remember what your dreamed of being when you grew up. Did you want to be a superstar professional athlete? A life-saving doctor? The most popular, yet most down to earth pop singer ever?
“Everything’s bigger in Texas.” continues to be a popular phrase about the state, and is still used for tourism ad campaigns. Makes the republic sound pretty tough. But the story of them joining the United States- surprisingly not so tough. Texas was tired of being a part of Mexico, and wanted to be their own nation. So they went to war, and defeated enough troops to take over the land temporarily. But Mexico kept fighting and fighting, and Texas was running out of power. So Texas, manly as they are, went to the United States, and said that if the U.S. could provide the manpower and supplies to get rid of Mexico, they would join the Union. A lot of killing later, and an official treaty of $18.5 million, the U.S. had saved Texas from evil Mexico, and all was happy. How tough of you, Texas.
Of the MLS FC Texas team in Dallas, he is one of the star players, measuring in at 6 ft tall (plus horns) and around 2,000 pounds, as a bull typically does. Born in 1996, he is one of the youngest players, but also one of the best. The head coach made a statement about him when he was first signed with the team:
As the mascot queen, I’ve been writing a lot lately about the wonders of the characters, the logos, and their actions. But I’ve never really acknowledged that there are people in those costumes. Real, normal, lame people, just like the rest of us, are behind those awesome façades. Those people are walking around in a scary darkness- with just two meshed eye holes to see the world. There are people running up to you and hugging you or hassling you- people you’ve never seen before, and you’ll never see again. And it gets really hot in those things, like 100+ degrees. The NBA states thatmascots are to take off the head portion of their costume every 15 minutes as to not overheat.
Worse for heat than the NBA’s costumes that have a thick-cloth-like head is the head of the Miami Marlin. Named Billy, this guy has a fully plastic head- completely unbreathable and non-absorbent.
But before we go any further with this mascot, I just want to address my issue with this MLB team. From your opening season in 1993 to 2012, you were the Florida Marlins, and then you decided to become the Miami Marlins. Why would you do that? Why would you want to decrease your area of fans?
Now, back to the mascot. Billy is an 8 foot tall, 250 pound marlin who loves eating tuna and sardine sandwiches whenever possible. His favourite movies are Flipper (cool), and A Fish Called Wanda (does he know how politically loaded that movie is? Wow). Also on their bio site, “this fish could very easily be the leader of the “untouchables.” Does this have another meaning, or are they alluding to the lowest caste of some cultures?
Maybe Miami has more of a dark side than I thought. But, they typically make him happy, colourful, and fun loving, like any other mascot. He’s pretty athletic, too.
And omg the baby version.
Today we’re just going to jump right into the awesomeness of this team’s mascots, because there are three of them. And that’s just fun.
Kidnapping is a serious violent crime that has almost 1 million victims in the United States each year. As of 2009, Phoenix had the second highest kidnapping rate in the world, beat by only Mexico City. It’s scary to think that anywhere in the seemingly safe, civilized, and hospitable U.S. would have such a horrid record. So why such a serious topic when this is typically about happy, funny, weird mascots? Up until 1998, the New York Islanders had this mascot, named Nyiles- a tough, hockey-playing, bearded fellow.
The “Greatest Generation”, as described by Tom Brokaw, went through a few wars, the Great Depression, and really just lived through a lot of tough years without much reward. Therefore, they are often coined as hating the later generations’ celebration of mediocrity. You got a ribbon for participation? In the real world, just showing up is not good enough. You have to win.
Generally, as humans, we want the best for the people around us. Sure, there’s the murderers and the kidnappers, but most of the time, people don’t wish ill upon others. So that feeling of joy you get- when you’re happy to see the failure of another- is uncomfortable. You know it’s wrong, but it feels so right.